Open any newspaper or magazine or go on line and chances are there will be an article on the positive effects of exercise on aging. Our bodies are the vehicles that carry us through life and just like our cars, the parts wear out with age. It’s easy to be in denial about this until something happens and you’re in pain or discover that you can no longer run 10 miles or climb Kilimanjaro.
A dear friend of mine who is 63 has always been healthy, fit, and energetic. She couldn’t imagine not being able to go to the gym or do a daily run. When hip pain started interfering with her routine, she said; “I know this happens to other people but I didn’t think it would happen to me.” And there it is! It’s easy to be in denial and we can’t imagine our bodies ‘betraying’ us.
Exercise is a key factor in health, wellness and longevity but it’s important to know what kind of physical activity is right for your body. And what’s right changes over time. Another lesson in acceptance! Heed the warning signs of injury, overuse or stress and don’t self-diagnose. There are sports medicine specialists, physiatrists, physical therapists and other professionals who can help you decide what you need. I recently started going to a personal trainer who works with people 55 and over. She knows a great deal about the aging body and is a terrific teacher. Her focus is on core strengthening, posture and loosening up the fascia to increase flexibility and range of motion. In just 4 months I am walking taller and I have more flexibility and more energy. It’s not inexpensive and I’ve had to cut back in other ways, but I feel like Im making an investment in my life.
Donald Liebenson interviewed me about The Couples Retirement Puzzle for Millionaire Corner. Check out the article at http://www.millionairecorner.com/article/what-couples-should-talk-about-when-they-talk-about-retirement-interview-couples-retirement.
Millionaire Corner is a web site ‘For and About Investors’, www.millionairecorner.com. You may not be a millionaire but information is power.
Check out the November 28, 2011, USAToday online review of our book by Kerry Hannon, a nationally acclaimed free-lance journalist who specializes in personal finance and retirement and author of her own book: What’s Next? Follow Your Passion and Find your Dream Job.
As Hannon states, “Having someone to grow old with is great and helps defray stress. It frequently provides financial support, and, of course, a human bond that’s priceless. But unless you have a general roadmap that you’re both following, it can get pretty complicated. ..
Taylor and Mintzer hit on some key concerns …and provide practical questions to get you started… (Their) mission is to present a strategy to start the conversations that help couples tackle some pieces of the puzzle. Most couples aren’t going to agree on everything. But if you can communicate, you can find solutions….
Getting these hot-button topics out front is uncomfortable and awkward, but step-by-step, the two relationship coaches direct a thoughtful conversational process to ease you along…It’s ultimately freeing to have these conversations about money matters and dreams, but lack of smooth communication tools trips us up. Simply put, it’s hard to get started. Even when you do, it’s easy to become frustrated and angry when your partner doesn’t share your future goals…
The take-away: Couples need to start talking about retirement well before they get there, and reassess as circumstances change…Some people are better at it than others, but the authors promise if you practice being a good listener, are open to concessions and remember to share something positive that you learned about each other after each conversation, it will make the process a little easier.”
To read the entire review go to USAToday on line: http://www.usatoday.com/money/books/reviews/story/2011-11-28/Couples-Retirement-Puzzle/51444298/1.
A Visit to the Future
By · Comments“The Company You Keep”: Lifestyle and Housing Decisions
By · Comments
Have you begun to think about “what’s next?” for your “retirement transition” years? What’s most important to you when you think about where to live? Some people want to “stay put,” renovating their current home to accomdate changing health needs over time and/or to use the “village model” of sharing services as you age. Other people want to downsize but stay in the same geographical area. Still others choose a new location based on factors such as climate, activities, closeness to health care facilities and/or being near friends or family.
If you plan ahead you have the opportunity to think individually about what’s most important to you and then talk with your partner about what you both want and/or talk and explore options with friends or other family members. In addition, if you know the lifestyle you want you can make better financial decisions. It takes time to work out a plan, so it’s helpful to start early.
But, don’t be dismayed if you haven’t started yet, it’s not too late to start thinking about these issues. You can expolore possibilities by talking with others, getting accurate information and using the Internet to research ideas. If finances permit you can travel and explore areas you’re considering or rent in an area ( for a few days or a few months) to see what the area is like on a day to day basis.
The boomer population has many more options for living situations than our parent’s generation, and each choice offers both possibilities and challenges. Relocating and “starting over” without knowing people can feel daunting. As Ann Carrns points out in her recent NY Times article, “The Company You Keep,” one of the biggest challenges of relocating after retirment is making new acquaintances.”
To avoid this problem, some people decide to move to be near friends or relatives, or to move with their friends to a new location. Still others choose to create a “co-housing” situation or to join an already existing community. ”Co-housing” is a community designed so residents can socialize, share services and have some meals together and the “senior co-housing movement” is expanding. Other people decide that a Continuing Care Retirement Community offers the best option.
What is clear is that there is no “right way. “ We learn from positive psychology that our sense of well-being comes from a sense of connection, community and purpose and meaning thoughout our life. Each of our situations is unique and no ”one size fits all”.
I recommend Ann Carrns”s NY Times article, ”The Company You Keep. “ Learn about some of the people she talks about and their choices. I’m quoted in the article and The Couples Retirement Puzzle is mentioned. Copy and paste this link into your browser. ) http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/16/business/retirementspecial/a-retirement-home-with-familiar-neighbors.html to read the article.
Wisdom from the ages
By · CommentsWhen I presented at Retirement University (Hebrew Senior Life) this week I asked the audience, mostly elders, what advice they would give to their adult children. This from an 85 year old soft spoken gentleman: “When each of my three daughters married I told them three things: Tell your partner you love him at least once a day; never go to bed angry; listen to each other even if you don’t like what you’re hearing.” Wise advice!
Come join us at Porter Square Books, 25 White Street, Cambridge,MA, on Wednesday
evening, October 26th at 7:00 p.m. We’ll talk about our book : The Couple’s
Retirement Puzzle: 10 Must-Have Conversations for Transitioning to the Second Half of
Life, and ways to transition to the second half of life. It’s an opportunity to learn as well
as to ask questions about what’s most important to you. We look forward to meeting you
there.
give some examples of the people you’ll meet in the book. The author talk will be
followed by a book signing. We look forward to meeting you there. Dori and Roberta
Retirement Takes Planning
By · CommentsRetirement wasn’t always a puzzle. It used to be relatively simple. You left a job after many years and started collecting a pension and social security. If you were lucky you were able to enjoy several more years of leisure before you died. But those days are gone. Today only 16% of workers have pensions. Many of us can’t afford to retire or we want to continue working. If you’re in your 50’s, 60’s or 70’s, you are, or will be, re-defining retirement and there is no one formula. The majority of Baby Boomers don’t see themselves rocking on the porch or playing golf every day. There are a lot of choices. The good news is we have this gift of extended middle age (early, mid and later) and the other new is; it comes with responsibility. A “successful” retirement transition takes planning.
College of Retirement Living
By · CommentsI’m excited to be speaking on The Retirement Puzzle: Conversations for Successful Transition at NewBridge on the Charles, Thursday October 27th at 2pm. Check it out. Would love to see you there!
Roberta
Get your free copy of our ebook “Stop Avoiding Your Retirement Puzzle.”